Chapter 6
6:1 And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
6:2 That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
- What unbelievable sexism!
6:3 And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
- The LORD’s spirit never strove with man! Man was expelled from the Garden to live an existence of pain and suffering, remember?
- It looks like God is shortening the human life span to 120 years. What exactly was the life span before this, and why?
6:4 There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
- Giants? On what day were those created? And by “giants” does it mean giant humans, or giant other-animals? What relevance do they have to the story?
6:5 And God saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
- Care to give any examples of “wickedness”? Didn’t the previous verse just talk about “men of renown”?
6:6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
- The fact that the LORD repented means that he made a mistake. Couldn’t he predict this course of events before he started this doomed creation? Does this not question his omniscience?
6:7 And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
- What do all the other animals have to do with any of this?! Just a short while ago (1:25), the LORD was thinking everything is “very good.”
6:8 But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.
- Any reason why the LORD liked Noah and not anybody else?
6:9 These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.
6:10 And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
6:11 The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.
- So the LORD’s solution for getting rid of violence is to kill everything? Wouldn’t a better solution be to educate people, and teach them not to use violence and to respect women? I guess the LORD has better things to do.
6:12 And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
6:13 And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
6:14 Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
- Does the LORD realize what “pitch” is? Well, it’s basically tar. And, as everyone knows (everyone except God, apparently), tar occurs naturally when very ancient animal fossils break down to a point when the actual carbon from the organic matter coalesces into a thick, black substance (ancient plant fossils eventually become coal). And by “ancient” I mean millions of years old. Of course the question is, how could fossils possibly exist in Noah’s time (especially before the “flood”)? The Flood is the Creationists’ best “excuse” for fossils that exist today. So how can there be any fossils, and thus any tar, before the flood?
6:15 And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
6:16 A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
6:17 And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.
6:18 But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons’ wives with thee.
6:19 And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.
6:20 Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.
6:21 And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.
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Let’s analyze what’s going on here. God is dissatisfied with humans, so he wants to kill all of them, except a handful. The reason why he wants to kill all other life forms is unknown, but let’s suppose that He has sufficient reason to do so.
- He could have just killed all the humans that He disliked so much, or just made them disappear so that it wouldn’t stink so much when millions of corpses start to decay. Is that too hard?
- If he absolutely must use water to kill everything, he could have temporarily transported Noah and company up to “heaven,” and proceeded to flood the earth.
- If he absolutely must use an ark to preserve the life forms, he could have created the ark himself, and made it much bigger, so that it wouldn’t be so embarrassingly impractical to transport all animal species aboard the ark Noah built.
- The LORD could have killed everything a little faster than in 150 days. This would have at least made the Ark story a bit more realistic.
- What guarantee does God have that the “new” humans (the descendants of Noah) won’t turn out exactly the same as the first batch? Oh wait, that’s exactly what happens! How short-sighted is this God?
Here are some things that the LORD could have done.
But instead, the LORD decided to send a single old man on a laughably futile mission to build a three-deck ark out of “gopher wood,” and then gather up every species of every animal (forgive me, every kind), and keep them on the ark for the duration of the flood, just so that the LORD could destroy every life form he ever created, which he himself once thought was “good.”
6:22 Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.