3:1 Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
- An animal that can speak? Did God create the serpent “in his image” as well?
- Some would insist that the serpent is really “Satan” in disguise. However, since there is no mention of anything of the sort in these chapters, I cannot comment on such a speculation. Moreover, the implications of such a speculation deserve a page of their own, and will be addressed later.
3:2 And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
3:3 But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
- When did God ever tell the woman not to eat from the tree of knowledge of good and evil?
3:4 And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
3:5 For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
- An animal that can speak and is more intelligent than the humans? When did God create such a creature, and why?
Notice that the serpent tempts the woman and not the man.
3:6 And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
- If God was true to his word, they should be dead, right?
3:7 And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
- Whoa, let’s back up for a minute. God first explained to the humans that eating from the Tree of Knowledge leads to certain death. We now see that it was a lie. The serpent, who somehow knew about the Tree of Knowledge, set things straight by telling Eve the absolute truth. And judging by the serpent’s tone of voice, there was no hint of deception or wickedness on the serpent’s part. After all, the serpent turned out to be right! So even if we don’t want to call God’s earlier statement a lie, we can certainly call it a threat – how very ungodlike!
3:8 And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
- The LORD was “walking in the garden”; does this mean that the LORD is, after all, a material being with arms, legs, and such?
- “heard the voice of the LORD” – was he mumbling to himself?
- How can anyone hide oneself from the presense of the LORD? Does this not question His omnipresence?
3:9 And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
- What kind of question is that for a God?
3:10 And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
3:11 And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
- Don’t you know? Aren’t you God?
3:12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
3:13 And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
- The serpent did not beguile anyone. The serpent did nothing but speak the truth. And shame on Eve for blaming everything on the serpent.
3:14 And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
- God punishes the serpent eternally for speaking the truth and tampering with his precious robot-like subjects (Adam and Eve). What a just and noble God.
- Shouldn’t God be blaming himself for creating a serpent that’s more intelligent than the humans? After all, the serpent even knew about good and evil! And in any case, couldn’t God predict that this might happen, and do something to prevent it?
- What did the serpent look like before it was “changed” into its current shape? Some say that it looked much like a Komodo Dragon. But then, why do Komodo Dragons still exist?
- Notice that modern snakes do not eat “dust.” In fact, they eat many kinds of animals, and are often very successful predators. Does this sound like a “cursed” species?
- “Cursed above all cattle” — does this mean that all other animals are also cursed just a little bit?
- Adam and Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge before they knew about good and evil, right? So how could they have known that it’s a sin to disobey God’s command? If they couldn’t tell right from wrong, they would have no problem disobeying God’s orders, and God should know that. Doesn’t this make God’s punishment a little ex post facto? How did God ever expect them to follow his orders if they didn’t know right from wrong?
3:15 And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
3:16 Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
- Again, the Bible’s heartfelt attitude towards women emerges.
- The reason women experience pain during childbirth is because, due to our evolution into bipedalism, the human pelvis gradually became narrower, making it much more difficult for a woman to push the baby through the birth canal. Another example of this kind of evolutionary friction is the human jaw, which gradually became smaller, making it nearly impossible for wisdom teeth to grow in fully.
3:17 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; 3:18 Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
- How mature. If the LORD really didn’t want the humans to know about good and evil, wouldn’t a much simpler course of action be to quietly erase their short-term memories and keep going as if nothing happened? Is that too difficult a task for the Almighty? And for God’s sake, do a better job of hiding or at least protecting the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!
- But no; instead, the LORD lets the humans live and multiply, until he finally can’t take it anymore, and destroys the world’s entire population! (sorry, I read ahead a little bit)
- Here’s an even better idea: don’t create the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil!
- By the way, I’m still waiting for the LORD to say “be fruitful and multiply.” He says this in Chapter 1 (the first creation story), but doesn’t say it in this creation story. In fact, I get the feeling the LORD is strongly opposed to them multiplying right now. So which creation story are we supposed to believe?
3:20 And Adam called his wife’s name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
- The mother of what? She hasn’t given birth to anything yet. She will be the mother of “all living,” but only for a little while, until the LORD kills everything. It will be more accurate to say that Mrs. Noah will be the mother of all living.
3:21 Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
- Rather than making coats out of a non-living material (like dust), the LORD kills a few of his animals?
3:22 And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
- So all that the humans had to do was eat from the Tree of Life, and they would become Gods?! Why would the LORD ever create such a dangerous security risk to himself?! It wouldn’t be unreasonable to think that such an irresponsible God would have annihilated himself by now.
- Notice that the LORD never told the humans not to eat from the Tree of Life. Why is that?
3:23 Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
3:24 So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
- Why didn’t the LORD think of that before?
- What on earth are “Cherubims” and on what day were they created?
- According to this chapter, the Garden of Eden was located on Earth, specifically in the Fertile Crescent (Mesopotamia). It was not located in “heaven,” or any other non-earthly place. Why is there no evidence in the modern “Mesopotamia” that this Garden ever existed? And why do I always hear people considering the Garden of Eden being synonymous with “heaven,” if the Garden was on Earth?